Connie Hampton Connally http://conniehamptonconnally.com Writer & Teacher Thu, 12 Aug 2010 04:05:46 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 en 1.0 http://conniehamptonconnally.com http://conniehamptonconnally.com general aydans-birth marriage mentally-disabled-people ruth-tiger writing http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 Auto Draft http://conniehamptonconnally.com/?p=369 Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/?p=369 369 2010-08-11 20:30:54 0000-00-00 00:00:00 open open auto-draft 0 0 post 0 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/ Fri, 02 Oct 2009 08:25:09 +0000 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/?page_id=3 Welcome!

connieI am a writer who loves good music, a musician who loves good books, and a teacher who loves sharing both music and literature with others. In recent years it has been my privilege to combine these loves by writing music stories: stories that honor the creation of beauty, even in the bleakest circumstances, through the creation of music. I invite you to click onto my Books page and share in these stories. As a teacher and speaker, I enjoy helping others understand writing, music and the spiritual dimensions of creativity in our lives. Please visit my Availability page to see what I can offer your class or group.

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Books http://conniehamptonconnally.com/books Fri, 02 Oct 2009 08:29:39 +0000 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/?page_id=4 Books

Tim Clement didn’t know much about music, and that was fine with him—until Uncle Zoltán arrived. Tim suddenly found himself in the middle of an orchestra, in his own living room . . .

[caption id="attachment_140" align="alignleft" width="232" caption="Click To Enlarge"]Click To Enlarge[/caption]

The Orchestra in the Living Room

This humorously illustrated, full-color children’s book not only tells an entertaining, touching story, it teaches children about orchestra music. The book is a fun read for families and an excellent resource for elementary teachers. It is written at a fourth-grade reading level, but as a read-aloud book it is easily understood by younger children. The book was published in 2005 by the Northwest Sinfonietta, a professional chamber orchestra in Tacoma, Washington. (About the Author, Illustrator, and Graphic Designer)

Because the book was produced as part of an educational project, it is available at no charge but the cost of shipping ($3.00). To order, please contact Connie.

Upcoming . . .

The Bomb Shelter Quintet

[caption id="attachment_146" align="alignright" width="150" caption="Click To Enlarge"]Click To Enlarge[/caption]

Set in Budapest in 1944-45, The Bomb Shelter Quintet takes place during Nazi occupation, then a terrible siege, then Soviet occupation. Sixteen-year-old András Varga and four other young musicians are determined to do something beautiful in the midst of anguish: they make music. Their camaraderie creates a bond in the group, and as the pressures around them mount, András tries desperately to keep the group safe and together. But can he? Aimed at sophisticated teen readers, this is a tale of war and music, fear and love, survival and sacrifice.

Connie’s agent is currently seeking a good publisher for this book. Stay tuned!

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Availability http://conniehamptonconnally.com/availability Fri, 02 Oct 2009 08:35:58 +0000 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/?page_id=7 Teaching and Speaking Engagements

I am an experienced teacher, having taught high school English and elementary music. I enjoy interacting with children, teens and adults. I welcome opportunities to visit student classes and to speak with adult groups. Below are possible topics for different settings and age levels. I am open to speaking on other topics as well, if they are within my areas of knowledge and if I have adequate time to prepare.

Possible Topics for Elementary Classes, 4th Grade and Older

  • Interactive presentation of how a story is developed through characterization and conflict (explored at a basic level)
  • Historical presentation of life in a besieged city, WWII era, with a reading from The Bomb Shelter Quintet (details age-appropriate)
  • Musical presentation of folk music from Scotland and/or Ireland. (I play guitar and sing.)

 

Possible Topics for Middle School and High School Classes

  • Interactive presentation of how a story is developed through characterization and conflict (explored at an intermediate level for middle school and at a sophisticated level for high school)
  • My story of how The Bomb Shelter Quintet was developed from an idea and a single character, deepening through expansion and extensive revision (a.k.a. how to learn by doing...)
  • Historical presentation of life in a besieged city, WWII era, with a reading from The Bomb Shelter Quintet (details age-appropriate)
  • Historical presentation describing life under Stalinist communism
  • Musical presentation of folk music from Scotland and/or Ireland, with historical and cultural explanation.

 

Possible Topics for Adult Groups

For Church Groups

  • Creativity as a way of honoring the Creator
  • A Christian view of the arts
  • My story as a believing writer, and the faith lessons I had to learn along the way

For Parent Groups

  • Helping your young child develop musically

For Writers Conferences

  • I can speak knowledgeably on any topic related to fiction, revision, editing, or historical research.

 

Costs and Scheduling

I am available for engagements in the Seattle-Tacoma-Olympia area and for writers' conferences farther afield. My costs vary depending on the amount of preparation and driving involved (I live in Tacoma) and on the nature of the event. If you are interested in having me speak, please contact me. Let me know what topic you have in mind and when and where the event is. I will get back to you quickly to work out the details, including costs.

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about.author http://conniehamptonconnally.com/books/about-author Sat, 03 Oct 2009 23:43:03 +0000 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/about.author.jpg 54 2009-10-03 16:43:03 2009-10-03 23:43:03 open open about-author inherit 4 0 attachment 0 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/about.author.jpg _wp_attached_file _wp_attachment_metadata First Post http://conniehamptonconnally.com/test-post Sun, 04 Oct 2009 04:30:18 +0000 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/?p=68 68 2009-10-03 21:30:18 2009-10-04 04:30:18 open open test-post publish 0 0 post 0 _edit_lock _edit_last Blog http://conniehamptonconnally.com/blog Sun, 04 Oct 2009 05:15:00 +0000 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/?page_id=79 Connie's Blog]]> 79 2009-10-03 22:15:00 2009-10-04 05:15:00 open open blog publish 0 6 page 0 _wp_page_template _edit_last _edit_lock Contact http://conniehamptonconnally.com/contact Mon, 05 Oct 2009 05:32:46 +0000 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/?page_id=88 Contact me. I check email frequently, so if you would like to send your message using the form below, I'll respond as quickly as possible. I look forward to hearing from you.
[contact-form 1 "Contact form 1"] ]]>
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9-15-2009 2-26-14 PM http://conniehamptonconnally.com/frequently-asked-questions/9-15-2009-2-26-14-pm Mon, 05 Oct 2009 20:35:48 +0000 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/9-15-2009-2-26-14-PM.jpg 103 2009-10-05 13:35:48 2009-10-05 20:35:48 open open 9-15-2009-2-26-14-pm inherit 102 0 attachment 0 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/9-15-2009-2-26-14-PM.jpg _wp_attached_file _wp_attachment_metadata Frequently Asked Questions http://conniehamptonconnally.com/frequently-asked-questions Mon, 05 Oct 2009 20:36:38 +0000 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/?p=102 Q Connie, are you Hungarian? A Nem. That is, no.

Q How did you get interested in writing about Hungary? A While working as a music teacher, I learned about Zoltán Kodály’s influence in developing Hungary’s musical literacy. I was impressed and intrigued, and when my book The Orchestra in the Living Room needed a teaching character, it felt natural to make him Hungarian—and to name him Zoltán. In order to make Uncle Zoltán an authentic character, I did some research on Hungary and found myself fascinated by its turbulent history, especially during the twentieth century. There Hungary was, caught between Russia and Germany. And what fiction writer can resist a conflicted situation? The more I thought about it, the more I wanted to write about decent people trying to face the Budapest siege of 1945. I interviewed Hungarians who lived in Budapest at that time, and their compelling personal stories have kept me writing about the post-war period as well. I have tremendous respect for what these people and other Europeans of the same generation have lived through.

Q Seems like it would be fun to write a novel. Is it? A Not unless you happen to get a kick out of carpal tunnel syndrome, rejection letters, hour-after-hour sitting, and revising the same #*@$!! chapter nine times. Novel writing is hard work and often tedious and frustrating. But it is also interesting and rewarding, and I love it.

Q What advice would you give to people who want to try writing a novel? A This is a huge topic. Whole books have been written on it, many of them very good. Read two or three of them with a receptive mind and follow whatever advice you find helpful. Beyond the instruction you find there, I would offer an additional thought.

After all these centuries, the ancient Greek philosophers are still right: a work of art should reflect goodness, truth and beauty. Writing a novel is an artistic endeavor. A worthwhile story will lift up goodness, although it may do so in hidden ways. It will have the ring of universal truth, although the reader may not notice it until she reflects on the story after reading the last page. The prose and the theme will shine with an underlying beauty, even if the subject matter is achingly grim. A reader of your work needs to find the nourishment of goodness, truth and beauty, whether or not he realizes it; and if your story is void of those graces, you have left the reader empty. Perhaps the biggest challenge to any artist, myself included, is to become a human deep-hearted enough to produce redemptive art. I would urge all writers to consider this.

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102 2009-10-05 13:36:38 2009-10-05 20:36:38 open open frequently-asked-questions publish 0 0 post 0 _edit_lock _edit_last 3 tomkelhay@verizon.net 74.62.37.205 2009-10-15 06:41:20 2009-10-15 13:41:20 1 0 0
IMG http://conniehamptonconnally.com/?attachment_id=131 Wed, 07 Oct 2009 05:48:24 +0000 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/IMG.jpg 131 2009-10-06 22:48:24 2009-10-07 05:48:24 open open img inherit 0 0 attachment 0 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/IMG.jpg _wp_attachment_metadata _wp_attached_file parchment http://conniehamptonconnally.com/?attachment_id=132 Wed, 07 Oct 2009 06:24:36 +0000 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/parchment.jpg 132 2009-10-06 23:24:36 2009-10-07 06:24:36 open open parchment inherit 0 0 attachment 0 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/parchment.jpg _wp_attached_file _wp_attachment_metadata guitar_trans http://conniehamptonconnally.com/?attachment_id=133 Wed, 07 Oct 2009 06:29:31 +0000 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/guitar_trans.gif 133 2009-10-06 23:29:31 2009-10-07 06:29:31 open open guitar_trans inherit 0 0 attachment 0 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http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/guitar.jpg _wp_attached_file _wp_attachment_metadata guitar http://conniehamptonconnally.com/?attachment_id=144 Thu, 08 Oct 2009 06:58:52 +0000 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/guitar1.jpg 144 2009-10-07 23:58:52 2009-10-08 06:58:52 open open guitar-2 inherit 0 0 attachment 0 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/guitar1.jpg _wp_attached_file _wp_attachment_metadata trouble_clef http://conniehamptonconnally.com/books/trouble_clef Thu, 08 Oct 2009 07:27:36 +0000 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/trouble_clef.jpg 146 2009-10-08 00:27:36 2009-10-08 07:27:36 open open trouble_clef inherit 4 0 attachment 0 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/trouble_clef.jpg _wp_attachment_metadata _wp_attached_file trouble_clef_sm http://conniehamptonconnally.com/books/trouble_clef_sm Thu, 08 Oct 2009 07:27:57 +0000 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/trouble_clef_sm.jpg 147 2009-10-08 00:27:57 2009-10-08 07:27:57 open open trouble_clef_sm inherit 4 0 attachment 0 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/trouble_clef_sm.jpg _wp_attached_file _wp_attachment_metadata connie http://conniehamptonconnally.com/3/connie Thu, 08 Oct 2009 20:23:57 +0000 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/connie.jpg 152 2009-10-08 13:23:57 2009-10-08 20:23:57 open open connie inherit 3 0 attachment 0 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/connie.jpg _wp_attached_file _wp_attachment_metadata connie_lg http://conniehamptonconnally.com/3/connie_lg Thu, 08 Oct 2009 20:26:48 +0000 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/connie_lg.jpg 154 2009-10-08 13:26:48 2009-10-08 20:26:48 open open connie_lg inherit 3 0 attachment 0 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/connie_lg.jpg _wp_attached_file _wp_attachment_metadata connie http://conniehamptonconnally.com/?attachment_id=158 Thu, 08 Oct 2009 20:32:28 +0000 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/connie1.jpg 158 2009-10-08 13:32:28 2009-10-08 20:32:28 open open connie-2 inherit 0 0 attachment 0 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/connie1.jpg _wp_attached_file _wp_attachment_metadata connie_med http://conniehamptonconnally.com/3/connie_med Fri, 09 Oct 2009 19:47:36 +0000 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/connie_med.jpg 159 2009-10-09 12:47:36 2009-10-09 19:47:36 open open connie_med inherit 3 0 attachment 0 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/connie_med.jpg _wp_attached_file _wp_attachment_metadata connie_200 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/?attachment_id=161 Fri, 09 Oct 2009 20:05:53 +0000 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/connie_200.jpg 161 2009-10-09 13:05:53 2009-10-09 20:05:53 open open connie_200 inherit 0 0 attachment 0 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/connie_200.jpg _wp_attached_file _wp_attachment_metadata PrintFrame http://conniehamptonconnally.com/163/printframe Fri, 09 Oct 2009 20:55:08 +0000 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/PrintFrame.jpg 162 2009-10-09 13:55:08 2009-10-09 20:55:08 open open printframe inherit 163 0 attachment 0 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/PrintFrame.jpg _wp_attached_file _wp_attachment_metadata Painting by a dear friend, hangs in my dining room. http://conniehamptonconnally.com/163 Fri, 09 Oct 2009 20:56:21 +0000 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/163 Click to enlarge[/caption] This watercolor was painted by my friend Susan Austin at my request.  When I gave her daughter guitar lessons, Susan asked what she could pay me, and I asked for a painting.  At the time, I had recently visited Spain and was taken by its beauty and also its music.  (Yes, I did sit in a plaza and listen to a Spanish guy play guitar.)  So when I asked Susan for a painting, I asked for images of Spain, incorporating guitar and scripture.  She put me in the painting, too.  The painting brings back wonderful memories of Spain, and it is a constant reminder of Susan's friendship.]]> 163 2009-10-09 13:56:21 2009-10-09 20:56:21 open open 163 publish 0 0 post 0 _edit_lock _edit_last connally http://conniehamptonconnally.com/?attachment_id=166 Fri, 09 Oct 2009 22:34:38 +0000 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/connally.jpg 166 2009-10-09 15:34:38 2009-10-09 22:34:38 open open connally inherit 0 0 attachment 0 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/connally.jpg _wp_attachment_metadata _wp_attached_file connie_painting http://conniehamptonconnally.com/163/connie_painting Sat, 10 Oct 2009 07:38:52 +0000 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/connie_painting.jpg 192 2009-10-10 00:38:52 2009-10-10 07:38:52 open open 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uncle_zoltan2 inherit 4 0 attachment 0 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/uncle_zoltan2.jpg _wp_attached_file _wp_attachment_metadata conniebg http://conniehamptonconnally.com/?attachment_id=259 Sat, 24 Oct 2009 20:22:20 +0000 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/conniebg.jpg 259 2009-10-24 13:22:20 2009-10-24 20:22:20 open open conniebg inherit 0 0 attachment 0 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/conniebg.jpg _wp_attached_file _wp_attachment_metadata connie_lg-200x300 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/?attachment_id=269 Sun, 25 Oct 2009 20:40:41 +0000 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/connie_lg-200x3001.jpg 269 2009-10-25 13:40:41 2009-10-25 20:40:41 open open connie_lg-200x300 inherit 0 0 attachment 0 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/connie_lg-200x3001.jpg _wp_attached_file _wp_attachment_metadata connie_lg-150x150 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2009-10-25 20:52:04 open open connie_200-2 inherit 0 0 attachment 0 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/connie_2001.jpg _wp_attached_file _wp_attachment_metadata connie-150x150 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/?attachment_id=273 Sun, 25 Oct 2009 20:57:44 +0000 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/connie-150x150.jpg 273 2009-10-25 13:57:44 2009-10-25 20:57:44 open open connie-150x150 inherit 0 0 attachment 0 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/connie-150x150.jpg _wp_attached_file _wp_attachment_metadata connie_painting1-171x2991 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/?attachment_id=274 Sun, 25 Oct 2009 21:01:10 +0000 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/connie_painting1-171x2991.jpg 274 2009-10-25 14:01:10 2009-10-25 21:01:10 open open connie_painting1-171x299 inherit 0 0 attachment 0 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/connie_painting1-171x2991.jpg _wp_attached_file _wp_attachment_metadata uncle_zoltan2-150x1501 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/?attachment_id=275 Sun, 25 Oct 2009 21:13:36 +0000 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/uncle_zoltan2-150x1501.jpg 275 2009-10-25 14:13:36 2009-10-25 21:13:36 open open uncle_zoltan2-150x150 inherit 0 0 attachment 0 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/uncle_zoltan2-150x1501.jpg _wp_attached_file _wp_attachment_metadata uncle_zoltan http://conniehamptonconnally.com/?attachment_id=276 Sun, 25 Oct 2009 21:18:02 +0000 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/uncle_zoltan.jpg 276 2009-10-25 14:18:02 2009-10-25 21:18:02 open open uncle_zoltan inherit 0 0 attachment 0 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/uncle_zoltan.jpg _wp_attached_file _wp_attachment_metadata connie-150x1501 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/?attachment_id=277 Sun, 25 Oct 2009 21:23:03 +0000 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/connie-150x1501.jpg 277 2009-10-25 14:23:03 2009-10-25 21:23:03 open open connie-150x150-2 inherit 0 0 attachment 0 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/connie-150x1501.jpg _wp_attached_file _wp_attachment_metadata A Question Frequently Asked by Writers: Why Do I Keep Doing This? http://conniehamptonconnally.com/a-question-freguently-asked-by-writers-why-do-i-keep-doing-this Mon, 02 Nov 2009 18:10:32 +0000 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/?p=278 The Away Place, the book draws on Ruth's rich and varied experience The Away Placeworking with mentally disabled adults. It is published by Strategic Publishing Group and is available on-line (see Ruth's website at www.zhibit.biz/ruthtiger). The long-awaited publication is a well-deserved moment of joy for her. It is also a real pleasure for those who know Ruth, her novel, and her determination in turning a good idea into an impressive accomplishment. The Away Place is a beautiful story, told from the viewpoints of two characters: John, a young man with Down Syndrome, and Sarah, the idealistic graduate student in charge of of his welfare. In the opening chapters, John and four other disabled men leave an institution, the only home they've ever known, to move into the group home that Sarah has opened--and so begins one of the biggest challenges either John or Sarah has ever faced. Their lives become poignantly intertwined, and . . . well, read the book. You'll be glad you did. The book has a long history. When I first met Ruth about twenty years ago, she was just starting to write the book. I read each chapter as she wrote it, making comments and suggestions (a favor she returned with my work). What immediately impressed me--and in fact lingered in my mind over the years--was the clarity with which Ruth depicted the lives of disabled people. More than that, she entered the mind of one of them, allowing the reader to see the world through the simple, limited and often confused perception of a Down Syndrome man. This was a unique story. As writers so often do, when Ruth finished the novel she set it aside, unsure what to do next. But years later she came back to it. At a friend's suggestion, Ruth decided more of the story needed to come from the viewpoint of Sarah, the "normal" character with whom readers are more likely to identify. So she revised the story, letting half the chapters tell Sarah's side of it--and this led to a powerful new ending to the novel. I recently read the finished, bound and publsihed new version, and I was moved by it and excited by what Ruth had accomplished. Probably the advice most frequently given to novel writers is, "Don't quit." This is because the task is so difficult; and encouragement, if there is any, is often scattered, distant and half-hearted. Novice writers wonder constantly if they are wasting their time on something no one but a few friends will ever read. But Ruth didn't quit. She kept writing, kept revising, and finally produced a lovely work that will promote understanding of disabled people. Bravo, Ruth. And to any of you who are struggling for a second wind on some project you took on twenty years ago--child-rearing, anyone?--I say, "Don't quit."]]> 278 2009-11-02 11:10:32 2009-11-02 18:10:32 open open a-question-freguently-asked-by-writers-why-do-i-keep-doing-this publish 0 0 post 0 _edit_lock _edit_last 4 phil@harbornet.com 131.191.56.75 2009-11-02 22:40:20 2009-11-03 05:40:20 1 0 0 The Away Place http://conniehamptonconnally.com/a-question-freguently-asked-by-writers-why-do-i-keep-doing-this/tigercover Wed, 04 Nov 2009 22:59:52 +0000 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/TigerCover.jpg 292 2009-11-04 15:59:52 2009-11-04 22:59:52 open open tigercover inherit 278 0 attachment 0 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/TigerCover.jpg _wp_attached_file _wp_attachment_metadata Giving Thanks, 2009 Style http://conniehamptonconnally.com/giving-thanks-2009-style Tue, 24 Nov 2009 00:49:36 +0000 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/?p=299 Yet when the good life eludes us and there aren’t as many obvious pleasures to count, if we have any wisdom at all, we learn to count deeper blessings.  So these are mine:
  • I’m grateful that my sister and her husband, for all their pain and fear, are still able to give and receive kindness.  Their hearts are alive and—in a difficult way—growing.
  • I’m grateful that my husband is the kind of man whose deepest heartache during this economic downturn has been for the welfare of his employees.
  • I’m grateful that Brendan and Erin, exchanging the good life for a better one, responded to the call of God upon their lives and have chosen to serve the people of Peru.
  • I’m grateful that Patrick and Kim are expecting a little daughter (rare in the Connally family!) who will grow up in a home of love, wisdom and faith.
  • I’m grateful that Kevin and Adele, starting out their adult lives amid daily bad news, are people of hope and prayer.
So on Thanksgiving Day, even if we aren’t as high-spirited around the turkey as usual, there is much that’s good—and as I said, I’m grateful.]]>
299 2009-11-23 17:49:36 2009-11-24 00:49:36 open open giving-thanks-2009-style publish 0 0 post 0 _edit_last _edit_lock
idea http://conniehamptonconnally.com/giving-thanks-2009-style/idea Sat, 28 Nov 2009 18:11:09 +0000 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/idea.jpg 318 2009-11-28 11:11:09 2009-11-28 18:11:09 open open idea inherit 299 0 attachment 0 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/idea.jpg _wp_attached_file _wp_attachment_metadata Peru Dec 2009 083 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/?attachment_id=321 Thu, 07 Jan 2010 18:04:35 +0000 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/Peru-Dec-2009-083.JPG 321 2010-01-07 11:04:35 2010-01-07 18:04:35 open open peru-dec-2009-083 inherit 0 0 attachment 0 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/Peru-Dec-2009-083.JPG _wp_attached_file _wp_attachment_metadata 16,000 feet http://conniehamptonconnally.com/?attachment_id=322 Thu, 07 Jan 2010 18:08:15 +0000 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/16000-feet.jpg 322 2010-01-07 11:08:15 2010-01-07 18:08:15 open open 16000-feet inherit 0 0 attachment 0 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/16000-feet.jpg _wp_attached_file _wp_attachment_metadata Lima kids http://conniehamptonconnally.com/?attachment_id=323 Thu, 07 Jan 2010 18:10:18 +0000 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/Lima-kids.jpg 323 2010-01-07 11:10:18 2010-01-07 18:10:18 open open lima-kids inherit 0 0 attachment 0 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/Lima-kids.jpg _wp_attached_file _wp_attachment_metadata Mighty Dog and sidekick! http://conniehamptonconnally.com/?attachment_id=324 Thu, 07 Jan 2010 18:12:37 +0000 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/Mighty-Dog-and-sidekick.jpg 324 2010-01-07 11:12:37 2010-01-07 18:12:37 open open mighty-dog-and-sidekick inherit 0 0 attachment 0 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/Mighty-Dog-and-sidekick.jpg _wp_attached_file _wp_attachment_metadata Peru Dec 2009 037 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/?attachment_id=325 Thu, 07 Jan 2010 18:15:45 +0000 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/Peru-Dec-2009-037.JPG 325 2010-01-07 11:15:45 2010-01-07 18:15:45 open open peru-dec-2009-037 inherit 0 0 attachment 0 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/Peru-Dec-2009-037.JPG _wp_attached_file _wp_attachment_metadata coca tea http://conniehamptonconnally.com/una-aventura-peruana-part-ii/coca-tea Mon, 25 Jan 2010 22:03:10 +0000 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/coca-tea.jpg 329 2010-01-25 15:03:10 2010-01-25 22:03:10 open open coca-tea inherit 328 0 attachment 0 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/coca-tea.jpg _wp_attached_file _wp_attachment_metadata vicuna http://conniehamptonconnally.com/una-aventura-peruana-part-ii/vicuna Mon, 25 Jan 2010 22:05:44 +0000 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/vicuna.jpg 330 2010-01-25 15:05:44 2010-01-25 22:05:44 open open vicuna inherit 328 0 attachment 0 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/vicuna.jpg _wp_attached_file _wp_attachment_metadata Peru Dec 2009 178 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/una-aventura-peruana-part-ii/peru-dec-2009-178 Mon, 25 Jan 2010 22:09:44 +0000 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/Peru-Dec-2009-178.JPG 331 2010-01-25 15:09:44 2010-01-25 22:09:44 open open peru-dec-2009-178 inherit 328 0 attachment 0 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/Peru-Dec-2009-178.JPG _wp_attached_file _wp_attachment_metadata Peru Dec 2009 178 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/una-aventura-peruana-part-ii/peru-dec-2009-178-2 Mon, 25 Jan 2010 22:13:25 +0000 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/Peru-Dec-2009-1781.JPG 332 2010-01-25 15:13:25 2010-01-25 22:13:25 open open peru-dec-2009-178-2 inherit 328 0 attachment 0 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/Peru-Dec-2009-1781.JPG _wp_attached_file _wp_attachment_metadata burritos http://conniehamptonconnally.com/una-aventura-peruana-part-ii/burritos Mon, 25 Jan 2010 22:17:47 +0000 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/burritos.jpg 333 2010-01-25 15:17:47 2010-01-25 22:17:47 open open burritos inherit 328 0 attachment 0 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/burritos.jpg _wp_attached_file _wp_attachment_metadata terraces http://conniehamptonconnally.com/una-aventura-peruana-part-ii/terraces Mon, 25 Jan 2010 22:19:12 +0000 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/terraces.jpg 334 2010-01-25 15:19:12 2010-01-25 22:19:12 open open terraces inherit 328 0 attachment 0 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/terraces.jpg _wp_attached_file _wp_attachment_metadata colca rio http://conniehamptonconnally.com/una-aventura-peruana-part-ii/colca-rio Mon, 25 Jan 2010 22:21:00 +0000 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/colca-rio.jpg 335 2010-01-25 15:21:00 2010-01-25 22:21:00 open open colca-rio inherit 328 0 attachment 0 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/colca-rio.jpg _wp_attached_file _wp_attachment_metadata even the king... http://conniehamptonconnally.com/una-aventura-peruana-part-ii/even-the-king Mon, 25 Jan 2010 22:22:21 +0000 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/even-the-king....jpg 336 2010-01-25 15:22:21 2010-01-25 22:22:21 open open even-the-king inherit 328 0 attachment 0 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/even-the-king....jpg _wp_attached_file _wp_attachment_metadata B&E http://conniehamptonconnally.com/una-aventura-peruana-part-ii/be Mon, 25 Jan 2010 22:23:56 +0000 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/BE.jpg 337 2010-01-25 15:23:56 2010-01-25 22:23:56 open open be inherit 328 0 attachment 0 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/BE.jpg _wp_attached_file _wp_attachment_metadata Una Aventura Peruana, Part II http://conniehamptonconnally.com/una-aventura-peruana-part-ii Mon, 25 Jan 2010 22:25:30 +0000 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/?p=328 http://theconnallys.com.  They would love for you to read about their ministry there, which is a combination of dentistry, teaching and linguistic work. [caption id="attachment_337" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Brendan and Erin Connally"]Brendan and Erin Connally[/caption] During the week Rory and I spent with them in Peru, the four of us took a chartered bus trip to the Colca Canyon.  We departed from Arequipa at an altitude of 8,000 feet, climbed through the arid mountains to 16,000 feet, and then back “down” (still high) into the canyon.  Along the way we stopped into a rather dusty canteen for el baño and for coca tea. [caption id="attachment_329" align="alignleft" width="300" caption="Coca tea"]Coca tea[/caption] (That’s right, coca, as in what cocaine is made from.  When it isn’t chemically jazzed up, it’s very mild.)  This herbal drink consisted of hot water poured over whole leaves of coca, so it was a little like trying to drink a cup of spinach.  The Andes natives use coca to help with nausea and pain, and I saw a Quechua woman carrying coca clippings in a blanket on her back.  Our Peruvian guide swore coca tea was the perfect antidote to altitude sickness.  Our very limited test of this hypothesis was inconclusive.  Rory drank the tea and did not get sick.  I skipped the tea, and I didn’t get sick, either.  Who knows? Our bus passed through a reserve area set aside for vicuñas, which are small relatives of llamas.  They produce a very soft, fine and expensive wool.  As we drove higher we saw many alpacas, raised for wool and meat.  They look like sheep with long necks, especially from a distance.  Llamas are used as beasts of burden.  The one I had the misfortune to meet had quite a nasty temperament and a long spitting range. [caption id="attachment_330" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="A vicuna, a small member of the llama family"]A vicuna, a small member of the llama family[/caption] And speaking of such creatures, the locals have figured out alpacas and children are handy for gringo photos, and gringo photos are handy for a little cash. [caption id="attachment_332" align="alignright" width="225" caption="Quechua woman with a baby on her back"]Quechua woman with a baby on her back[/caption] At all the places the tour bus stopped, Quechua women would spread out their wares: woolen goods, clay flutes, embroidered purses and the like.  Often they would bring a little daughter in a traditional embroidered dress and have the child stand with an alpaca.  The idea is that you (the tourist) snap the cute photo and pay mom.  Since I was tired of being viewed as a walking, talking wallet, I declined the posed snapshot and took a candid shot of my own.  There it is on the right (yes, I know it’s no stellar photograph) showing the way the Quechua mothers carry their babies.  They carry other things that way, too.  The blanket on the back seems to be a favored method of transport, along with laying things across a burro’s back. The Colca Canyon was amazing—beautiful, deep, stark, rocky and dry, yet not a wilderness.  Every remotely arable plot of land had been terraced against water run-off and planted—beans, corn, potatoes, coca.  We took a hike in the canyon, walking across a bridge dizzyingly high above a river, yet we weren’t off backpacking in the boondocks.  We were a quarter-mile from a town.  For the people there, this life on the slopes (if not in the clouds) is normal, and they make it work.  Peru is a fascinating place.  Brendan and Erin love it there, and I pray that their love for Peru will continue to grow. [caption id="attachment_333" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Peruvian transport systemThe Colca Canyon"Not even the king will eat if the laborer doesn't work." Worth thinking about, isn't it?"]Peruvian transport system[/caption] ]]> 328 2010-01-25 15:25:30 2010-01-25 22:25:30 open open una-aventura-peruana-part-ii publish 0 0 post 0 _edit_lock _edit_last Una Aventura Peruana http://conniehamptonconnally.com/una-aventura-peruana Tue, 26 Jan 2010 06:19:31 +0000 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/?p=343 [caption id="attachment_321" align="alignright" width="300" caption="Volcano, called Misti, 10 miles outside Arequipa"]Volcano, called Misti, 10 miles outside Arequipa[/caption] Arequipa is 8,000 feet high, but that’s nothing in Peru. The city is surrounded by volcanic peaks and mountain ridges twice as high as Arequipa. People live not far below those peaks. We took a bus into the mountains, and it chugged along valiantly above the height of Mt. Rainier. Oxygen? Who needs it? It is summer in Peru, and we loved waking up each morning with the brilliant sun pouring through the low-oxygen sky into our window. Birds sang at 5:30 a.m. Less melodiously, so did the taxi horns. Peruvians get an early start on the day. Their businesses don’t, however, so where those taxis are going at daybreak I don’t know. But they’re not stopping along the way. The Peruvian method for dealing with an intersection is to lean on the horn. [caption id="attachment_322" align="alignleft" width="300" caption="Erin, Brendan, Connie and Rory at 16,000 ft"]Erin, Brendan, Connie and Rory at 16,000 ft[/caption] When we were there the school year had not yet ended for the summer. In the mornings we would see children waiting for the bus in their tidy little uniforms. Twice while out exploring places considered to be turistica, we encountered school kids on field trips. One group of ten- or eleven-year-olds enjoyed shouting to the gringos: “Hel-lo!” they called to us. “Gude af-ter-noon!” Brendan guessed this was probably the extent of their English vocabulary. We answered in Spanish. They laughed. Another group, some young girls whom we met in the Colca Canyon, had come down from Lima. We talked with them in Spanish, with Brendan and Erin taking the lead on this. Afterward the girls asked for a photo with us, no doubt wanting to show the folks back home the Norteamericanos they met. [caption id="attachment_323" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="The girls from Lima with their gringos . . . us"]The girls from Lima with their gringos . . . us[/caption] That was when I learned the Peruvian version of “Cheeeeeeeeeese!” It’s “Maíz!” (Corn.) The area around Arequipa gets very little rain. When we were there, the rainy season had not yet begun, so it hadn’t rained in Arequipa since last March. (I am not making this up.) The buildings, whether apartments or small shacks, have flat roofs. People do their laundry on their roofs, and their dogs hang out there. We kept seeing dogs at the roof edges, watching everything as if they were on sentry duty. You had the feeling they considered themselves very important.Peru Dec 2009 037 More about Peru in the next blog entry . . .]]> 343 2010-01-25 23:19:31 2010-01-26 06:19:31 open open una-aventura-peruana publish 0 0 post 0 _edit_lock _edit_last A Meditation on Waiting http://conniehamptonconnally.com/a-meditation-on-waiting Fri, 05 Mar 2010 16:58:21 +0000 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/?p=345 waitis the same as the word for hope. Often this has struck me as strange, because sometimes waiting inspires a lot more dread than hope. But ultimately, I think, believing in a good God turns all waiting into hope, even if the hope is mingled with pain. Waiting, in its redeemed form, is hope. "And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts . . ." (Romans 5:5).]]> 345 2010-03-05 09:58:21 2010-03-05 16:58:21 open open a-meditation-on-waiting publish 0 0 post 0 _edit_lock _edit_last photo http://conniehamptonconnally.com/joy-that-a-child-is-born-into-the-world/photo Fri, 09 Apr 2010 18:13:49 +0000 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/photo.jpg 350 2010-04-09 11:13:49 2010-04-09 18:13:49 open open photo inherit 349 0 attachment 0 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/photo.jpg _wp_attached_file _wp_attachment_metadata IMG00199 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/joy-that-a-child-is-born-into-the-world/img00199 Fri, 09 Apr 2010 18:37:58 +0000 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/IMG00199.jpg 351 2010-04-09 11:37:58 2010-04-09 18:37:58 open open img00199 inherit 349 0 attachment 0 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/IMG00199.jpg _wp_attached_file _wp_attachment_metadata Aydan Pictures 220 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/joy-that-a-child-is-born-into-the-world/aydan-pictures-220 Fri, 09 Apr 2010 18:44:03 +0000 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/Aydan-Pictures-220.JPG 352 2010-04-09 11:44:03 2010-04-09 18:44:03 open open aydan-pictures-220 inherit 349 0 attachment 0 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/Aydan-Pictures-220.JPG _wp_attached_file _wp_attachment_metadata " . . . Joy That a Child Is Born Into the World . . ." http://conniehamptonconnally.com/joy-that-a-child-is-born-into-the-world Fri, 09 Apr 2010 18:58:31 +0000 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/?p=349 "A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets her anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world."  John 16:21 [caption id="attachment_350" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Aydan Grace Connally"]Aydan Grace Connally[/caption] Last week--March 31 at 3:41, to be exact--my first grandchild made her debut.  Aydan Grace Connally was born to my son Patrick and his wife Kim in Arlington, VA.  Rory and I were able to be there and to greet this astonishing little creation just moments after her entry into the world.  Weighing in at 8 lb., 2 oz. and measuring 2o inches, she made a good strong start in life. As Rory and I touched her, held her and watched her, we were overwhelmed with joy.  A baby born to our children is baby born to us, too.  We are part of Aydan's network of love, nurture and protection, and that honor is an unfathomable gift to us. During the first few days of her life, Aydan spent most of her hours in the arms of people that love her: her parents, both sets of grandparents, her "big brother" Jack (the four-year-old boy for whom Kim is a nanny), and her "auntie," Jack's mother Susan.  Aydan's new, bright eyes took us in as she squirmed and nestled in our arms.  I had a strong feeling that in some innate way I could not understand she already knew she was not only safe but loved. [caption id="attachment_352" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="One day old"]One day old[/caption] I have many hopes and prayers for Aydan.  Her life with Patrick and Kim can't help but be interesting and full of good challenges!  But mainly I pray for this: that the love being poured into her by her family and by God Himself will overflow.  She is a blessing now, but this is only the first glimpse of the love she will give and inspire in others over a beautiful lifetime.

Welcome, Aydan!

]]>
349 2010-04-09 11:58:31 2010-04-09 18:58:31 open open joy-that-a-child-is-born-into-the-world publish 0 0 post 0 _edit_lock _edit_last 20 duval10@comcast.net 24.19.130.81 2010-04-09 13:44:54 2010-04-09 20:44:54 1 0 0 21 hwombacher@gmail.com http://www.thepatchworkheartcom.blogspot.com 131.191.55.172 2010-04-09 14:08:07 2010-04-09 21:08:07 1 0 0 22 cesween@yahoo.com http://carol-creative-expressions.blogspot.com/ 74.50.192.9 2010-04-09 14:53:38 2010-04-09 21:53:38 1 0 0
30659_654964763460_25906672_38030517_8080057_n http://conniehamptonconnally.com/some-people-have-all-the-fun/30659_654964763460_25906672_38030517_8080057_n Thu, 10 Jun 2010 20:22:56 +0000 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/30659_654964763460_25906672_38030517_8080057_n.jpg 356 2010-06-10 13:22:56 2010-06-10 20:22:56 open open 30659_654964763460_25906672_38030517_8080057_n inherit 355 0 attachment 0 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/30659_654964763460_25906672_38030517_8080057_n.jpg _wp_attached_file _wp_attachment_metadata Some People Have All the Fun . . . http://conniehamptonconnally.com/some-people-have-all-the-fun Thu, 10 Jun 2010 20:24:43 +0000 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/?p=355 [/caption] Why does Aydan get to have all the fun? Hmmm.  Well, maybe it’s because she’s the daughter of Patrick Connally.  If there hadn’t been fun in the world before Patrick was born, he would have invented it.  Fun, as C.S. Lewis said, is closely related to joy, and since Patrick has such a predisposition to enjoy life and people, he concocts fun.  And he does it without the stupidity and debauchery that people call fun when they’re basically unhappy.  Here is a sampling of the fun things Patrick has done in his young adult years:
  • Playing guitar (you knew I had to throw that in, right?)
  • Making friends all over the world
  • Brewing good beer with friends
  • Hosting beer-sampling parties in which no one gets drunk
  • Finding a “sculpture” (a.k.a. some old lawn tool, I think)and installing said sculpture among the shrubbery of a college campus
  • Helping friends plan their marriage proposals
  • Liking and spending time with other people’s children
  • Chuckling over other people’s idiosyncrasies instead of being annoyed with them
  • Marrying a beautiful young woman who’s as big-hearted as he is
  • Getting to know his wife’s extended family (and that’s a lot of people!)
  • Getting together with his brothers and naming themselves the Fraternal Council
  • Becoming head spokesman of said Fraternal Council and, as such, dispensing advice to his parents (“Dad, it was moved, seconded and carried in the Fraternal Council that you get more exercise.”)
  • Collecting Beautiful Angle posters
  • Making movies with church youth group kids
  • Visiting eastern Europe (which people don’t usually think of as fun in the same way that Hawaii is, but when you’re Patrick Connally, you connect with people and you have a good time)
  • Discussing politics intelligently
  • Staying in touch with friends far away
  • Adoring his wife
  • Adoring his little daughter and taking her to the beach.
Anybody want to follow Pat’s example?  Have fun!]]>
355 2010-06-10 13:24:43 2010-06-10 20:24:43 open open some-people-have-all-the-fun publish 0 0 post 0 _edit_lock _edit_last
CIMG0635 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/34-years/cimg0635 Sat, 17 Jul 2010 19:44:58 +0000 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/CIMG0635.jpg 361 2010-07-17 12:44:58 2010-07-17 19:44:58 open open cimg0635 inherit 360 0 attachment 0 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/CIMG0635.jpg _wp_attached_file _wp_attachment_metadata CIMG0635 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/34-years/cimg0635-2 Sat, 17 Jul 2010 19:47:21 +0000 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/CIMG06351.jpg 362 2010-07-17 12:47:21 2010-07-17 19:47:21 open open cimg0635-2 inherit 360 0 attachment 0 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/CIMG06351.jpg _wp_attached_file _wp_attachment_metadata CIMG0637 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/34-years/cimg0637 Sat, 17 Jul 2010 19:50:10 +0000 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/CIMG0637.jpg 363 2010-07-17 12:50:10 2010-07-17 19:50:10 open open cimg0637 inherit 360 0 attachment 0 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/CIMG0637.jpg _wp_attached_file _wp_attachment_metadata CIMG0637 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/34-years/cimg0637-2 Sat, 17 Jul 2010 19:56:40 +0000 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/CIMG06371.jpg 365 2010-07-17 12:56:40 2010-07-17 19:56:40 open open cimg0637-2 inherit 360 0 attachment 0 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/CIMG06371-e1279396641637.jpg _wp_attached_file _wp_attachment_metadata _wp_attachment_backup_sizes 34344_662054705160_25906672_38314045_3477240_n http://conniehamptonconnally.com/34-years/34344_662054705160_25906672_38314045_3477240_n Sat, 17 Jul 2010 19:59:46 +0000 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/34344_662054705160_25906672_38314045_3477240_n.jpg 366 2010-07-17 12:59:46 2010-07-17 19:59:46 open open 34344_662054705160_25906672_38314045_3477240_n inherit 360 0 attachment 0 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/34344_662054705160_25906672_38314045_3477240_n.jpg _wp_attached_file _wp_attachment_metadata 34 Years . . . http://conniehamptonconnally.com/34-years Sat, 17 Jul 2010 20:01:29 +0000 http://conniehamptonconnally.com/?p=360 th anniversary, which means that next year we will have been married for 35 years.  And that means that by anyone’s standards we are experienced at this thing called marriage.  Fairly often people comment to us that we’ve done a good job of it, that we seem happy together, or that we are a “cute couple.”  (This last always seems a little strange to me, because I don’t really think of 55-year-olds as being cute.)  But certainly we are very glad to have each other, and I know that many couples wish they could say that.  So here are a few musings on what I’ve learned over the years about the subject.  None of these will strike you as original, because they aren’t; I’m just reinforcing what wise husbands and wives have been saying for centuries. First, the old rules really are non-negotiable.  Lying, cheating and hiding things from each other make wreckage of the foundation for intimacy, which is trust.  Without trust the relationship loses all its freedom.  Rory and I have always believed that integrity is not optional; you don’t mess with it if you want anyone, and especially your spouse, to trust and respect you.  Not that we’ve lived perfectly by any means, but that bedrock belief has protected us from the grief we’ve sadly observed in others. Second, spouses need each other.  Rory and I got married before we had money or anything else, and neither of us had any illusion we could do well without the other.  We had to be there for each other.  If we weren’t, who would be?  Yes, we had our families, but they had needs of their own.  When we got married, we became family for each other, forming a bond stronger than what we were born into.  Now that our sons are married, we see them loving their wives with an attachment stronger than their old ties to us, and that is as it should be.  I see some couples basically living together but independently of each other, and I can’t help wondering if, deep down, they don’t really trust each other to be there.  I may be wrong—every marriage is different, and I’ve learned to be less judgmental of how other couples relate.  But I do wonder. Third, I’ve learned that when you love somebody, you should act like it.  This is a no-brainer, right?  Apparently not, because a lot of people would swear to a marriage counselor that they love their spouse, but the spouse hasn’t seen evidence of it in years.  How can a wife feel loved when she is ignored?  How can a husband feel loved when he is ridiculed?  We have always tried (not with perfect success, but pretty well) to make it plain to each other that we’re glad to be together.  A smile, a respectful tone of voice, a compliment, an empathetic ear: these are small things but ultimately make an enormous difference, not only in our own lives but in the lives of our children.  One of my sons recently told Rory that he (Rory) had taught him by example how to love his wife.  I can think of few lessons more important than that. So to anyone who’s interested, I offer this loving example from my good man.  Below you see two photos, taken 3 years ago in Hungary in what is called the Szépasszony Völgy, known in German as the Schön Frau Tal and in English as the Valley of the Beautiful Women.  The upper one is of me; Rory told me to sit down and smile so he could photograph a beautiful woman.  Get it, men?  This is world-class nice.  The lower photo is one I took of him in the same valley.  Notice that the woman he is smiling at is me. I have this picture on my desk, and it remains my favorite shot of him. And one more photograph, which I include just because it is so irresistible.  This is me with our little granddaughter, Aydan.  See her beautiful smile?  It’s the result of a lot of love—the love that her family has shared with her, but also the love her parents have shown each other.  I rest my case. ]]> 360 2010-07-17 13:01:29 2010-07-17 20:01:29 open open 34-years publish 0 0 post 0 _edit_lock _edit_last